Short Poems

The stationary chaos

The wandering mind

The wish for more

Future to find

—–

Words unsaid

Words unspoken

Searching for trust

Bonds unbroken

—–

Cue the stomach turn, a sigh

The start of a hidden tear

Hesitant whenever there is hope

Inside holds fear

—–

Written 3/12/16

It’s Not Impressive, It’s What You Do

I thought God wanted me to be a Sister.  Now, I am not as sure.  Despite that, I keep open all my options, as I want to do what God truly wants of me in this lifetime.

One of my companions, who also is not with the sisters we were with, is still actively discerning and visiting orders.  She sent out a message to our group mentioning that she will be visiting an order this weekend.  A comment was made about how it is impressive that she is still considering this.  My reaction was not exactly the same.  Why would you say it is impressive to do what we are naturally called to do in our lifetime, follow God’s will for our lives?

When someone who has been in many relationships and finally finds the one they want to be with for the rest of their life, do you tell them that it is impressive that after one bad date they still would consider marriage?  No, at least I have never heard such a thing.  So why do that with any other vocation God calls someone to?  Joy.  Simply joy and happiness; that is what I feel for someone who as found the place God truly wants them in.

Don’t Eat the Macaroni!

This past weekend I was blessed to be a chaperone for my youth group’s trip to the Steubenville Youth Conference.  It the past two years or so, my poem writing has been lacking greatly.  My faith life has gone up and down.  Health has varied as well.  There have been many moments where my life has been rejuvenated but a little while later it flops again.  During this conference I wrote 8 short poems and experienced something that is not like anything other.  I left filled with so much greatness that there is no way this weekend has been life-changing.  That all being said, here are the writings I wrote.  Perhaps they may speak to your life or perhaps they will just be a story to follow.

—–

Beautiful Everything

God is beautiful

The Prince of Peace

Colors unimaginable

Wonderful creator

One place to turn to

Jesus my everything

—–

You Are

You are, You are my everything

You are, You are my only hope

In you I trust

—–

Help Wanted

I am not worthy to gaze at You

Seeped deep with such hurt

Many wrong choices have been made

Bottle tears and refusal to trust

You died for me, death took You

How can I look at You asking

Longing for that peace and hope

You give and you can take away

“Help Wanted” screams around me

Yet hesitant I am to hire You

Why do I try to run far away

What is it You are doing with me

Grab me, get me to trust You

Don’t allow me to drown myself

—–

Consumed

As I consume You

I am consumed by You

How could I not worship

How could I not praise

God, you’re everything

Nothing else will do

I am consumed by You

As I consume You

—–

Beautifully Hard

The floor is hard

But so was the cross

What you gave us

All Your love

Never-ending agape

You gave Your life

I give You mine

All of me wholly

As I knell here

Beautiful hard floor

—–

I am Free

Oh to be free again

Nothing holding me back

Lay all down at the feet

At the feet of Jesus

Everything laid down

My soul is cleansed

Jesus has saved me

Left me with a mission

Remain free in Him

My whole self proclaims

I AM FREE!

—–

Attacked

Struck with deep loneliness

Something trying to break in

I’ve been healed, set free

My soul leaping for joy

On a Jesus high, smiling big

Then boom, someone striking

Attempting to wipe me out

I know I must stand firm

Your help I need and desire

Help me keep safe in love

The love You have for me

—–

Jesus in Me

Jesus is in me

Nothing can change that

No one can stop me

I will always worship

Hurl anxiety at me

I go to Jesus

Set me up for depression

I go to Jesus

Inflict me with illness

I go to Jesus

Tell me there is no God

I will pray for you

For I will always praise

Do not stand in my way

This is my life

Jesus is in me

—–

God Bless you all!

Dates…

November 20th, 2009 – Meet the Salesians for the first time

March 31st, 2010 – Turn in application for religious life

May 21st, 2010 – Found out I was accepted to enter formation with the Salesian Sisters

August 24th, 2010 – I arrive at the formation house in New Jersey

September 8th, 2010 – Aspirant Medal Ceremony

August 16th, 2011 – Arrive in California to start Postulant year

October 7th, 2011 – Postulant Medal Ceremony

May 6th, 2012 – Day decision that I must leave is revealed

May 16th, 2012 – I leave the sisters…

Leaving came of something specific

Door has been left open

Change needed to occur

Too many things to reflect on

So much life has given

Where am I now?

Where am I supposed to go?

Stillness

Lord of Heaven and Earth, help me to be still and know You are God; You will be exalted among the nations.  You will be exalted in the earth.  You, Lord Almighty, are with me; the God of Jacob is my fortress. (Psalm 46:10-11)

Stillness, yet another reminder of the many that seem to pop up in my life.  My mind always races and is extremely active.  Thoughts and feelings in my entire body run in chaos.  Stillness is something I need to have more of I guess.

Did you know you can be still while being active?  I challenge you to discover how that is possible for you and what it could mean to life.  An entire state of being can be changed.  Will you bring stillness into your life?

Making of Rosaries

I have this new passion of my that is starting to develop.  I love making rosaries and want to eventually expand it to Christian Jewelry as well.  My first problem is how in the world would I go about possibly selling them?

As for how my faith has been these days, I find that this is a really good way to remind myself of the importance of faith in my life.  I know my reflections once again have been few, but I am trying still.  Life hands you things that sometimes makes you back away for a little to reassess where you are at.

If you have any ideas for me, please share!  Eventually I am going to post some pictures here of what I have made.  Thank you for sticking with me!